Realise that the only person your anger is affecting is yourself

Anger, when not understood, can be a real big problem. Take someone to mind who always blows a fuse. Their problem is they have no clue they are even reacting it has just became a normal occurrence so they keep doing it when their buttons are pushed. The reason I say this is because I used to be one of them 🙂

When anyone would say something I didn’t like I would just blow & react in the most stupid way’s possible. I would get so angry but all I would do with this anger was scream, shout behave like a child basically. Because, I didn’t know any better.

Now, I very rarely get angry for the simple reason, I understand myself & when it is going to happen. So, now instead of blowing a fuse, I simply look at the situation with an open mind & say to myself, why is this making you so annoyed? Usually, it’s relating to something from the past that I didn’t address at the time it happened. However, it is important to understand most of the time it is not even important. It may be to do with shame attached to the past situation for whatever reason. Anger & shame are best friends.

Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.

Mitch Albom

 

So how do you use anger in a positive way ?

  • First of all you need to become aware of who or what is pushing your buttons, (this is really important). What exactly is it that is triggering the anger that you just reacted to ? You are they only person who can answer this question because you are the only one who can really recall what it is relating to, if that is the case at all.
  • Why are you letting this reaction control you ? Because, think about it that is exactly what it is doing. You need to control it & yes you can. It takes a lot of work but it is doable.
  • There is always signs, teach yourself how to spot them when it’s about to happen.
    • Angry Crying is when we just start crying for no reason as a response it makes the whole thing so much worse. This one can cause a very bad headache !
    • Heart beating so fast almost feels like it’s going to jump out
    • Sweating a lot due to holding back before the blow
    • Someone can say something to you & all of a sudden, its like a surge of energy & you have to defend yourself by biting back. Don’t do this, take a deep breath instead. Realise they didn’t do anything or if it is the case they are doing it on purpose, don’t give them the satisfaction of you fuse. You are being triggered by what they are saying by what “you solely are relating it to. This is what you have to control as this is exactly what is controlling you.
  • Journal, as much  as you can about what or who it is that makes you angry by doing this you are getting it out of your mind & onto the paper. Do this a lot, rip it up every single time. However, please remember this is not about the other person its about you & your association to the situation. I’m not under any circumstances suggesting blame. Instead, teach yourself how to forgive. ( If possible)
  • The most important thing is to realize is, you don’t have to react no one is making you do anything. Reacting, has become an unconscious choice for you. Now, you need to become self aware & change it to a conscious choice that you can control. By reacting, you’re giving your power away to others by becoming like a puppet on a string. Cut the string.

♥♥ Have a lovey day ♥♥

Written By Siobhan

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