Some tips on how to build yourself up not knock yourself down

First things first, if we have a low opinion of ourselves why would anyone else see us in any other way. Not that we need others approval but for the simple reason that,  low self – esteem is pretty obvious & when we get stuck here we are also having a bit of a pity party for ourselves because we are stuck here.

We all have this shit – head critic inside of us, every, single, one of us. Not one of us, got the good hand with the inner – critic. It is the annoying little voice inside us that tells us all the things we are no good at, we can’t do, could have done better, all the negatives.

  1. Learn & understand that when you decide to do something & you hear that voice saying you can’t do that“whatever that may be” take a min & ask yourself, why not ? Before you decide not to do it, always.
  2. Do not fill you life with all the should’s that you should have or could have done. This is a sure-fire way of setting your self – esteem into demolish mode, seriously. The only thing you should do is accept & believe in yourself 🙂
  3. If you have a habit of taking things to heart find out why ? There may not be one, nevertheless, it is worth some time to maybe look back in order to figure out, was there anyone or anything in the past that maybe played with your psychological health, either in childhood or adolescence to make you believe as an adult, you are always to blame, even when, the situation has nothing to do with you.
  4. You blow things our of proportion. Say for example; your next door neighbour drives, right by you. Your mind goes off on one straight into overdrive of all the things, you may have done to offend them. When in reality, they probably, just didn’t see you or Imagine this (have their own stuff going on)
  5. Followed by the above; you think you know everything of course they seen you they just “you finish it off” 
  6. You know the outcome of a certain situation & / or person because it happened before, that’s it, mind made up !!! How could you possibly trust with this one ???
  7. You are a comparer, you never just walk into a room & be yourself. You have to look around at everyone judging the whole situation & how you fit in. Reality is, we don’t fit in with everyone, everywhere. Fortunately, that would be the solution for world peace, unfortunately, not everyone wants it.

All of the above are, just some of the ways we actually limit ourselves from healthy self – esteem. However, we can train the mind to change its point of view for a healthy mindset  I do believe you can teach an old dog new tricks. How ?

  • Learn everything there is to know about yourself. Not what you think you should be doing to fit into others boxes but, who you really are on a deeper level. Don’t just fit in a box to please people. I will outline  couple of examples
    • Ethnic background
    • Acceptable sexuality
    • Not cool to ask for help / Get over it
    • Suppressed emotions & feeling I personally believe this is one of the dumbest boxes. We need to express not suppress in order to move forward. Squash this boxed 🙂
  • Understand yourself. What do you like, hobbies, passion, goals. Whats is your personality ? Take the test I’m not saying it is 100 % acc but it is worth a try. The majority of people haven’t a clue what their personality is.
  • Retrain the shit head with positive mantras & affirmations. Louise hay is the queen in this department. I’ve read all of her books the woman is an inspiration 🙂
  • Please stop focusing on your negative’s. Instead spend more time, focusing on your positive’s. Realise you are amazing. Journal on your positives, every night, write down three things you are grateful for about yourself. 
  • Stop trying to be in control of everything. Practice mindfulness for more health control over you, in a positive way, instead of, outside sources due to the misunderstanding of what is going on inside your head.
  • Finally, get used to your own company. After all, it is who we spend the majority of our time with. Unfortunately, there is a stigma that goes with being alone from emotionally lonely people, which is absolute bullshit, in my opinion. It is when we are not comfortable being in our own company that all of our problems arise. For the reason that,  we will just settle for anything. So instead of being alone & getting to know ourselves, we go looking for meaning in someone or something else. Which  not always but usually ends up being bad relationships, friendships, etc. Please get comfortable with you it will be the best thing you will ever do 🙂

Enjoy company but whatever you do don’t depend it 

Written By Siobhan

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