A lot of people do not actually understand what it means to actively listen. They are already in the mind frame of responding while the other person is talking. Before we have even heard what is being said we have an answer. This causes a serious miscommunication between people.
Understanding, how vital good listening skills are, will, stop miscommunication in its tracks.
It seem’s so simple, but really, it’s not. We all want a chance to have our say & if we don’t get it. We take it, by interrupting the speaker. This is extremely rude.
Ok, so the first time we try this, it seems extremely weird because it is not something most people do. We just talk, talk, talk taking bits & replying. Whereas, when we listen well, we actually hear everything before replying.
Understanding through listening is the missing link when there is a miscommunication.
So, exactly how does, active listening work.
- Ok, here is the weird part. We have to actually sit & face one another & create an open atmosphere. Don’t put any block in the away. For example, a table. So sitting on a couch enjoying a cup of tea is a great place to have a chat while creating a comfy & relaxed atmosphere.
- Let them talk freely & openly until they are fully finished. Don’t interrupt as this may put them off telling you what they wanted to say in the first place. DON’T be thinking of a reply. Fully listen to what they are saying & let them know you are by the odd eye, oh really or a head shake. If you listen correctly, you will reply correctly.
- I think this is a very important point. If, it is a friend, with a story of sadness. Refrain from being the saviour of their life. They want you to listen while being empathic, not sympathetic. Do not say I know how you feel because you don’t. They don’t want someone to feel sorry for them. They just want you to be there.
- When they have paused or are finished speaking. If there is anything they have said you are unsure of. To gain clarification & understanding for yourself repeat it back to them. If you misunderstood, repeating it back, will leave no room for uncertainty.
- Having an open mind will ensure you are listening without judgement. This can be very hard, as they may say something, that might trigger you. Causing, an argument. This is something you need to work on. As, it has nothing, to do with the other person & more to do with your beliefs.
♥♥ Have a lovely day ♥♥