This is a huge factor in many people’s lives. Every person in the world has a past. It doesn’t mean it was a bad one or they have closets bursting with skeletons. Nevertheless, we all have a past with something, we don’t like or may even be ashamed of. So how do we move forward.
There are many ways in which this can be done. However, it really does depend on the actual event that took place & the memories that were stored.
For example; If a person who was a victim of bullying growing up, never resolved the issues related to the situation, more often than not, they will have serious repressed emotions & feelings. Leaving them wide open to unconscious emotional triggers. Almost, every time they experience a similar situation they will react with, a fight or flight response, anger, sadness, etc.
“Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.”
So how do we resolve this.
- Accept the fact that it did happen. The only thing achieved by denying it clarification, is, you can’t move forward. We have a tendency to deny things in order to protect ourselves. We have a belief that if we actually admit it to ourselves it will somehow make us a lesser person. It won’t, if anything, it will make you a much stronger person. This is a very important step.
- Become aware of yourself. Hmmm what the hell does this mean. Ok, start to actually realise how you feel before you blow & yes you will feel it. Can you name a person, place, or situation off right now that you know sets you off.
- What is the initial thought, person, place, object etc. that starts it all off;
- When you figure that part out ask yourself, why ? Is it something they said, did, that reminded your of your past situation. If this is the case can you see how it is related to the past not the present. By reacting to the past guess where you are living ???
- You have to, actually catch yourself before you are triggered, this is not easy but is possible with lots of practice. However, when you become aware of it you will be able to stop yourself. It is an excellent accomplishment.
- Get blame our of your vocabulary. Blame is a great way to take the heat of our self; Especially, if we are the one in the wrong. I believe, unconsciously, we know when we are wrong. Blaming the other person with you said this & that & this which made me feel blah blah blah. You just gave away your power. If they said something to make you flip, What was it ??? That is your emotional trigger from a past situation. (((Evaluate)))
- Be open to change. A lot of people get so stuck, that they actually, get in their own way. Wanting everything to be the same forever. Where is the fun in that.
- Realize, we cannot under any circumstances, change the past it is impossible. None the less, we can use it as a guide to help us create a better future. No matter what happened don’t allow it to rule your present.
Ps: Their can be external influences that remind you of the past. However, it’s usually our own internal dialogue that leads the way & we are the only one who can change it.
In the case of any sort of trauma I would advise getting professional help it will help you progress much quicker.